So-In-Love Sunday's Video Pick

Luther Vandross featuring Beyonce, The Closer I Get to You

Sex in the Closet?

*Disclaimer* The following is simply for the purpose of engaging in open dialogue about a random topic that popped in my head. My thoughts, beliefs, and opinions are not betrayed at all in the following blog.

Time for some SERIOUS real talk about SEX...

I was chatting with one of my really good friends today and I posed the following question and I would like to pose the same question to my female readers.
Would you date a man that you knew openly OR (at one point) secretly participated in homosexual activity?

My friend immediately answered "hell no!!! It's already difficult dealing with them stepping out on us with other women, I shouldn't have to worry about him when he's supposedly going to play ball with his boys." (no pun intended)

I began to analyze the state of the black woman and the lack of committed relationships, the down low brother epidemic, and then thought even further about other things that men do that we forgive (or conveniently forget.)

I'm wondering the consensus on this topic. We say we aren't willing to settle. But many of us do. Many of us pay the bulk of the bills, many of us date a man that we know we are sharing with another woman (or women), many of us date a man who we'd really want to be committed to...but because he doesn't want to jump the broom...we continue on with the relationship anyway.

So if a man tells you that he has participated in boy-on-boy activity, are you willing to respect his honesty and date him? Or is your answer "hell no" also? If this man swears that he will be committed to you and you only--forsaking all relationships with other women and MEN, are you willing to be with him? Or is the stigma that comes along with those types of relationships too much for you to handle and you'd rather be alone than to be with him?

Are we being closed-minded in saying we will never date a man that was attracted to other men? Are we continuing to perpetuate the down-low situation by not allowing men to be open and honest with us about their sexual orientation? Are we being hypocrites by saying, we can forgive a man that has committed a crime but not a man that dabbled in more than heterosexual activities?

OR, would you rather he never tell you that he ever participated in any kind of homosexual activities and just leave his past in his past?

Too-Through-Thursdays Video Pick

Brandy, Almost Doesn't Count

Dear Cupid

Written by Laticia King

Dear Cupid,

Not to toot my own horn or anything…but I'm a bad a** chick.

Intelligent, classy, funny, and not to mention in all the right places…a lil thick. ☺

I can hold it down in the kitchen, board, and bedroom.

A woman that takes everything in consideration, collects her thoughts and never speaks

too soon.

A strong woman that smiles when she wants to cry, laugh when she wants to scream,

So why is it that nothing but weak men try to get on my team?

And by weak, I mean

sooooo many things,

that dude that's scared to commit

And when times get rough, that lil boy that's quick to call it quits.

The guy that goes through life wishing on a star

Do you think sitting on the couch playing NBA Live is gonna get you that new car?

That dude that swears up and down "she's just my myspace friend."

Oh Word, is that why you stop approving comments and took me out your top 10? (lmao)

Come on boo, that girl isn't staring at me for nothing

That 3:00 am text she sending you means something

I say all this to say…Dear Cupid, with all the common sense and pride that I exude

Why do you keep sending me these wack a** dudes?

Ones that think just cause I might not say anything that I can't see through all his bull

I just keep it in my file, named "this stupid a** nigga -info only to be used when I'm

completely ready to act a d*mn fool."

Yeah, that's right, I will get buck on you

When you love and respect a woman, there's things you just don't do.

But I digress a little bit, let me get back to this Dear Cupid Letter.

Cupid, when it comes to me, the selection process must get better.

I appreciate that guy you sent me, the one that wasn't a male whore,

the guy that had manners and always opened my door,

that cute 6'3 dude who knew how to have fun,

oh, and not to forget the guy that…well..let's just say at the end of the night…I was done.

But seriously Cupid…the next arrow you shoot with my name on it could he please

include all that in one?

And, P.S, one more thing….could he possibly also have an exposeable income?

Regards,

-A Woman That Knows Her Worth

Chris Brown Mix Tape

C. Breezy is definitely all grown up...lol...
Check out tracks like Big Booty Judy, I Invented Head, and Back Out on his new mix tape released on Vday.
Shaking my head at lil CB. He's a long way from those Run It days.

Click here to download the album:

http://realtalkny.uproxx.com/2010/02/topic/topic/music/chris-brown-in-my-zone-mixtape/

So-In-Love Sunday Video Pick

O.M.G...D'angelo!!!
Where art thou?


D'Angelo - Untitled (How Does It Feel)
Uploaded by bunharper. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Too-Through-Thursday's Video Pick

Outkast, Roses

Please come off this long hiatus you guys are on. Hiphop and R&B really misses these dudes!


Outkast - Roses (Official Music Video) - Watch more top selected videos about: OutKast

Valentine's Day

The motion picture Valentine's Day brings in $63.1 million dollars opening weekend.
It gets two thumbs up from me!
Anything with Ashton and Jamie is sure to be a winner.
Whether it's girl's night out or date night...check it out.

Letoya Luckett's new joint

"Good to Me"

Luv it...

It's Really Killing Me!

I swear because I absolutely HATE this song, it is stalking me. EVERY single time I turn my radio on to any given station, this song comes on.

Why do I hate this song so much? The words! Melanie has a beautiful voice,
but in 2010, I do NOT support such foolish lyrics such as:

"Trouble in my life
Problems when you don’t come home at night
But when you do you always start a fight
But I cant be alone , I need you to come on home
I know you messin around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down"

Melanie Fiona, you get a Ed Lover "C'mon On Son" for that!

Random Treadmill Thoughts

I've decided to create a new series of posts called "Random Treadmill Thoughts." I sometimes have the most randomness thoughts and questions to pop in my head while jogging on the treadmill. Here are my thoughts from today...



1. Do men with awful eyebrows ever think about doing some kind of tweazing or waxing? Seriously, I've met guys that would be so much more attractive if they would just tame those things down a bit.


2. Am I the only one that wonders if some of the guys in the gym are training for some type of sports event like the Olympics? I believe in going hard, but geez louise...I see guys doing all kinds of acrobatic moves as if they are in the gym all by their lonesome. YOU ARE DISTRACTING ME! Calm down over there homie! lol


3. Old ladies in nothing but sports bras. Is that appropriate? I mean old ladies as in, 60-ish. Just wondering...

Stay tuned for more "Random Treadmill Thoughts..."

Too-Through-Thursday's Video Pick

John Legend - Used To Love U


LOL @ Kanye

Carmelo & Lala Finally Send Save the Dates

These two have finally decided to REALLY get married. They sent out "Save the Dates" just in time for V-day. Congrats to Lala....i mean, to the happy couple.














Here's what they look like.

Rude Boy...

Rude Boy, Rihanna

One of my favorite songs on her album.
I swear she sounds like Beyonce in some parts of this track.

"So-In-Love Sunday" Video Pick

Faith Evans, Never Gonna Let You Go

Wax On...Wax Off...

Ladies! Bikini Season is in a few months... Scratch that!!! Forget bikini season, it's BOO season. Which means there's no better time like the present to get a good ole bikini wax.


Here are my Spa picks for waxing in the DC Area:

• Bliss Spa at The W Hotel
• Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spas

Some helpful tips:

1. If it's your first time, try the Bikini and not a Brazilian. Take baby steps into the world of waxing.
   
2. As with any waxing, do not do it a week within your period. You will bleed more during and after the wax! Apparently our skin is more sensitive during the coming and going of our cycles.
   
3. Let hair grow 2-3centimeters in length before waxing.
   
4. Drink a glass of wine before and take pain reliever immediately after :-)
   

And fellas, don't feel left out. Evidently male bikini waxing is becoming popular also... :-)

Check this video that shows the facial expressions of people while getting bikini waxed...lol...

Too-Through-Thursday's Video Pick

Neyo's such a talented artist...

Put the Ice Cream Down and Put Your Gym Shoes on NOW!

If my post about health and wellness and black women, didn't motivate you to work out...maybe this video will...

Millionaire Psycho

This chick is crazy.....

I feel really bad for laughing at this.

Did he just say he wanna get me PREGNANT?

R. Kelly is a fool for this one...lol...



Shout out to my girl Meik for turning me on to this joint.
As she said "is this new game ya'll trying to spit? Babies...are permanent...ya'll wildin'!" LOL

I must admit, I do love this song. And talk about some sexy voices all on one track. Minus The-Dream. He's cool and all...but sexy voice...not so much!

I am Not My HAIR...

30% of Black women site that hair management is the top reason why they do not work out!!!

Alarming statistic! But, I can really relate.
I'm someone that's never had a perm in my life, (except for the times my Mom permed by bang during cheerleading season and my grandma deemed it the reason why she had a heart attack! LOL) I really understand the time that it takes to do our hair.

I finally got the art of doing my hair down to about 1.5 hrs. I have really curly hair and it takes a while to get it straight. Most Black women, spend a significant amount of time AND MONEY in salons. So, sweating it out right after you just paid no less than $50 to get it fix is not what's up!

This leads me to the question of: Why do we get our hair done and so often?
It's because we want to look good! Honestly, those hours that we spend in the salon are really because we are looking to attract men or to keep the one we have attracted to us. Now, think about it. We are willing to gain a few pounds, demand that the lights are always turned out because we simply don't go to the gym and run off that extra tummy weight.

As I've matured and really begun to understand about living a healthy lifestyle, I realize that working out is important and a MUST. Maybe some of these alternative beautiful hair options will help motivate you to get off the couch and "really get it in" (in my lil wayne voice) and go hard in the gym.



Naturally Curly! My Summer-Do








Lace-front! Wigs, especially lacefronts are becoming more and more popular. They're going to cost you a pretty penny. (Human Hair is no less than $169...But the Indian Remy is going to cost you nothing under $359)
Lace-fronts are my new thing. :-)




Locks!











A Bun!











Twists!













Braids!












Ponytail!








These are all looks that we can go with while going hard in the gym.
So ladies, no more excuses! Let's get health conscience in 2010. And remember, health conscience doesn't mean you can't be sexy!

Too-Through-Thursday's Video Pick

My "Too-Through-Thursday's" Break up Video Pick is Mariah's "Up out my Face" Remix with Nicki Minaj. I heart Nicki.

Check Drummer boy aka MC's hubby, Nick Cannon's cameo at the end....

"Partner Let Me Upgrade U"

*this is a revised post from my old facebook account*

All my female friends are pretty much between the ages of 25 and 30. The age were we all are suppose to be married, engaged, or at least in a serious relationship. Here’s the phenomenon...very few are!!! This generation just refuses to do anything like the generation before us—when most our parents were 18-23 when they married or at least had us. It’s ok...we are attempting to do better than our parents.

A great deal of women that I'm associated with are single, but most of them are not happy about it. I hear all the time complaints of being single and alone. “I’m ready to get married!” “I’m ready to have a baby.” “Where is my husband?!”

I began to think to myself…am I strange? What’s wrong with me? Am I abnormal? I’m 28 years old and I'm not having this "where is HE panic attack!" Now, I’m aware that prince charming could appear at any moment and switch the whole game up…lol…but am I having anxiety waiting and wondering about his whereabouts…NO…I’m not.

My focus is becoming a better me. My thought and belief is that the man that the Lord created for me and the man he wants in my life will not appear until the Lord is ready for him to. I thank the Lord that I haven’t had to put up with a large number of Mr. Wrongs and drama-filled relationships. Because like that old saying goes “ I can do bad by myself.” No need for extra stress.

I’m focusing on me—becoming a little less selfish, more mature in my walk with Christ, and even better in the kitchen…all the things that will make me a better woman, better future wife and mother one day.

So I challenge all the lades that dress up every Friday night in hopes in finding her future mate, those that complain all the time about not having a husband/boyfriend….work on yourself! Focus on being ready for when he appears. Because trust me, when you really pick yourself apart…you probably aren’t ready financially or spiritually. (mind you, since we are marrying later…the expectation of what you do as a woman is much higher. No, it is not acceptable to not know how to cook your man a meal at 31 years old!!!)

To all the single ladies…be thankful the last one didn’t put a ring on it. If it were meant to be and the TIME for it to be, it would be, right? So praise the Lord you didn't end up with Mr. 2009. Because that’s exactly what he was…your ’09 entertainment. Hey, you might not meet Mr. Forever in 2010….but how about you get yourself together and get your grown woman on.

In 2010, Be a DIVA! Work on your womanhood and live and enjoy life!!!! Marriage is (supposed to be) forever...be ok with spending a little more time alone. In 2010 become a(n) accomplished, independent, and confident woman. Truly be able to "upgrade him" and be the "compliment to his swag" before wishing to become his other half.

Half a Man...

“Look around. Nothing but a bunch of no-good men who think they're the salt of the earth because of the male-female ratio in this town." (DC) "Most men today act like they're doing you a favor by even paying you attention. That's why I 'm keeping Harold for as long as he'll have me. Ain't sh*t else out here. Either way, odds are, we will all be sharing d*ck..."

"Competition is thick. If you have a man willing to make any kind of commitment to you’re ass, even if it isn’t a total commitment, you need to consider yourself lucky as sh*t. Harold may not be a super hero, but he is damn sure my superman. He might dilly and dally with some whores, but he knows who keeps the home fires burning.”

Excerpt from Total Eclipse of the Heart, by Zane

When I read this, my mouth dropped. I then put my book down and began to wonder...

Really Ladies? Is this what our reality has come down to? Half a man is better than no man?

Does sharing a man fall into the scenario of looking at the glass half full versus looking at it half empty?

I thought about my female associates and their situations and relationships. I quickly began to count on two hands the number of women I know that are very AWARE that they are sharing their mate. I’m not speaking of the women that are playing the fool and aren’t really sure (meaning they lack tangible proof of his infidelities) that their man is cheating. I’m speaking of women that know that when he leaves her, he is going back home to his girlfriend that he actually takes out in public or even worse--his wife and kids.

Guess I’m just old school or maybe I was raised with too much confidence. (Thank you mom, dad, and the rest of my family) I don't know. But CONSIDERING MYSELF LUCKY because I have a man that makes a 50% commitment to me....ummmmm….doesn't really sound like too much luck to me. To settle for anything less than a man that is willing to give me and only me his all...I'm not interested!

But that's just me...

So in Love Sunday Video Pick

You, Jesse Powell
From the album 'Bout It (1998 MCA)

Shackin’ Up: Has Dating Become too Casual?

You’ve been dating your boo for three years. But you’ve been sharing the same address with her for two of those years. Mama would call this shacking up!

It’s becoming more and more common that couples are moving in together but not necessarily with the intentions of getting married. If marriage happens it happens…it if doesn’t, well…no big deal.

Now, Mama might not approve of you moving in with your significant other before you take that walk down the aisle, but the United States Census Bureau estimates that at least half of all U.S couples live together before getting married. Statistics are also showing married couples who decided to live together before marriage are less likely to divorce.

Remember when the societal norm of having a girlfriend included making sure you had her in the house before it got too late? A good girl would always be in the house at a decent hour and a good guy always make sure of that. When you felt like the relationship was progressing you did the right thing and got married.

My, how times have changed! These days, moving in together is more like the gradual process of dating. Today, there are 5.5 million couples shacking up in the United States, according to a study done by the bureau in 2000. African Americans made up 17 percent of that total, the second highest in the nation behind American Indians.

Many couples are saying money and convenience are the reason for their living together. But whatever the reason, there are pros and cons to shacking up. Check them out below:

PROS

1. No Strings attached: If the relationship ends, you don’t have the hassle of going through a legal divorce.

2. Certainty: Maybe you never knew of your partners annoying habit of clipping her toenails and just wiping the mess on off the bed and onto the floor. Or maybe you never knew that he refuses to use anything else but a fork as his backscratcher and you just can’t deal. Well, living together lets you get to know this person inside and out, and helps you to decide if they’re really for you.

CONS

1.Who gets what? Breaking up means moving out. Now you have the issue of agreeing on who gets the pots and pans and the 52-inch flat screen TV. You can’t just flip a coin if you can’t seem to agree…or can you?

2.Ethics: All the old women at church shake their heads in disapproval when you walk by and Mama says you’re “living in sin.” You were raised to get married before you live with someone, but times have changed. You have to decide whether you’re comfortable with going against what your church or family believes.

Shacking up is something that is quickly becoming more and more accepted, no matter what Mama says. But, it just leaves you to wonder, with many couples having the “will you move in” conversation before the “will you spend the rest of your life with me” conversation, what becomes the incentive for marriage?

What are your thoughts on shackin’ up versus hopping the broom? In today’s society what are the real incentives for marriages? Speak on it…

No Relationship Expert...

Welcome to my new venture...

I've decided to take some of my thoughts, views and experiences with relationships and write them down for others to see and comment on. Writing is something I get paid to do, but it's not always fun writing about medical topics. People and relationships interest me, therefore I decided to begin writing about them. This blog is not meant to deem myself as a relationship expert or guru--because I am NOT by any means. However, I do find it entertaining to analyze what we all encounter on a daily bases. I hope you enjoy reading Pretty Pink Wings as much I enjoy writing...