Too-Through-Thursday's Video Pick

My "Too-Through-Thursday's" Break up Video Pick is Mariah's "Up out my Face" Remix with Nicki Minaj. I heart Nicki.

Check Drummer boy aka MC's hubby, Nick Cannon's cameo at the end....

"Partner Let Me Upgrade U"

*this is a revised post from my old facebook account*

All my female friends are pretty much between the ages of 25 and 30. The age were we all are suppose to be married, engaged, or at least in a serious relationship. Here’s the phenomenon...very few are!!! This generation just refuses to do anything like the generation before us—when most our parents were 18-23 when they married or at least had us. It’s ok...we are attempting to do better than our parents.

A great deal of women that I'm associated with are single, but most of them are not happy about it. I hear all the time complaints of being single and alone. “I’m ready to get married!” “I’m ready to have a baby.” “Where is my husband?!”

I began to think to myself…am I strange? What’s wrong with me? Am I abnormal? I’m 28 years old and I'm not having this "where is HE panic attack!" Now, I’m aware that prince charming could appear at any moment and switch the whole game up…lol…but am I having anxiety waiting and wondering about his whereabouts…NO…I’m not.

My focus is becoming a better me. My thought and belief is that the man that the Lord created for me and the man he wants in my life will not appear until the Lord is ready for him to. I thank the Lord that I haven’t had to put up with a large number of Mr. Wrongs and drama-filled relationships. Because like that old saying goes “ I can do bad by myself.” No need for extra stress.

I’m focusing on me—becoming a little less selfish, more mature in my walk with Christ, and even better in the kitchen…all the things that will make me a better woman, better future wife and mother one day.

So I challenge all the lades that dress up every Friday night in hopes in finding her future mate, those that complain all the time about not having a husband/boyfriend….work on yourself! Focus on being ready for when he appears. Because trust me, when you really pick yourself apart…you probably aren’t ready financially or spiritually. (mind you, since we are marrying later…the expectation of what you do as a woman is much higher. No, it is not acceptable to not know how to cook your man a meal at 31 years old!!!)

To all the single ladies…be thankful the last one didn’t put a ring on it. If it were meant to be and the TIME for it to be, it would be, right? So praise the Lord you didn't end up with Mr. 2009. Because that’s exactly what he was…your ’09 entertainment. Hey, you might not meet Mr. Forever in 2010….but how about you get yourself together and get your grown woman on.

In 2010, Be a DIVA! Work on your womanhood and live and enjoy life!!!! Marriage is (supposed to be) forever...be ok with spending a little more time alone. In 2010 become a(n) accomplished, independent, and confident woman. Truly be able to "upgrade him" and be the "compliment to his swag" before wishing to become his other half.

Half a Man...

“Look around. Nothing but a bunch of no-good men who think they're the salt of the earth because of the male-female ratio in this town." (DC) "Most men today act like they're doing you a favor by even paying you attention. That's why I 'm keeping Harold for as long as he'll have me. Ain't sh*t else out here. Either way, odds are, we will all be sharing d*ck..."

"Competition is thick. If you have a man willing to make any kind of commitment to you’re ass, even if it isn’t a total commitment, you need to consider yourself lucky as sh*t. Harold may not be a super hero, but he is damn sure my superman. He might dilly and dally with some whores, but he knows who keeps the home fires burning.”

Excerpt from Total Eclipse of the Heart, by Zane

When I read this, my mouth dropped. I then put my book down and began to wonder...

Really Ladies? Is this what our reality has come down to? Half a man is better than no man?

Does sharing a man fall into the scenario of looking at the glass half full versus looking at it half empty?

I thought about my female associates and their situations and relationships. I quickly began to count on two hands the number of women I know that are very AWARE that they are sharing their mate. I’m not speaking of the women that are playing the fool and aren’t really sure (meaning they lack tangible proof of his infidelities) that their man is cheating. I’m speaking of women that know that when he leaves her, he is going back home to his girlfriend that he actually takes out in public or even worse--his wife and kids.

Guess I’m just old school or maybe I was raised with too much confidence. (Thank you mom, dad, and the rest of my family) I don't know. But CONSIDERING MYSELF LUCKY because I have a man that makes a 50% commitment to me....ummmmm….doesn't really sound like too much luck to me. To settle for anything less than a man that is willing to give me and only me his all...I'm not interested!

But that's just me...

So in Love Sunday Video Pick

You, Jesse Powell
From the album 'Bout It (1998 MCA)

Shackin’ Up: Has Dating Become too Casual?

You’ve been dating your boo for three years. But you’ve been sharing the same address with her for two of those years. Mama would call this shacking up!

It’s becoming more and more common that couples are moving in together but not necessarily with the intentions of getting married. If marriage happens it happens…it if doesn’t, well…no big deal.

Now, Mama might not approve of you moving in with your significant other before you take that walk down the aisle, but the United States Census Bureau estimates that at least half of all U.S couples live together before getting married. Statistics are also showing married couples who decided to live together before marriage are less likely to divorce.

Remember when the societal norm of having a girlfriend included making sure you had her in the house before it got too late? A good girl would always be in the house at a decent hour and a good guy always make sure of that. When you felt like the relationship was progressing you did the right thing and got married.

My, how times have changed! These days, moving in together is more like the gradual process of dating. Today, there are 5.5 million couples shacking up in the United States, according to a study done by the bureau in 2000. African Americans made up 17 percent of that total, the second highest in the nation behind American Indians.

Many couples are saying money and convenience are the reason for their living together. But whatever the reason, there are pros and cons to shacking up. Check them out below:

PROS

1. No Strings attached: If the relationship ends, you don’t have the hassle of going through a legal divorce.

2. Certainty: Maybe you never knew of your partners annoying habit of clipping her toenails and just wiping the mess on off the bed and onto the floor. Or maybe you never knew that he refuses to use anything else but a fork as his backscratcher and you just can’t deal. Well, living together lets you get to know this person inside and out, and helps you to decide if they’re really for you.

CONS

1.Who gets what? Breaking up means moving out. Now you have the issue of agreeing on who gets the pots and pans and the 52-inch flat screen TV. You can’t just flip a coin if you can’t seem to agree…or can you?

2.Ethics: All the old women at church shake their heads in disapproval when you walk by and Mama says you’re “living in sin.” You were raised to get married before you live with someone, but times have changed. You have to decide whether you’re comfortable with going against what your church or family believes.

Shacking up is something that is quickly becoming more and more accepted, no matter what Mama says. But, it just leaves you to wonder, with many couples having the “will you move in” conversation before the “will you spend the rest of your life with me” conversation, what becomes the incentive for marriage?

What are your thoughts on shackin’ up versus hopping the broom? In today’s society what are the real incentives for marriages? Speak on it…

No Relationship Expert...

Welcome to my new venture...

I've decided to take some of my thoughts, views and experiences with relationships and write them down for others to see and comment on. Writing is something I get paid to do, but it's not always fun writing about medical topics. People and relationships interest me, therefore I decided to begin writing about them. This blog is not meant to deem myself as a relationship expert or guru--because I am NOT by any means. However, I do find it entertaining to analyze what we all encounter on a daily bases. I hope you enjoy reading Pretty Pink Wings as much I enjoy writing...