Shackin’ Up: Has Dating Become too Casual?

You’ve been dating your boo for three years. But you’ve been sharing the same address with her for two of those years. Mama would call this shacking up!

It’s becoming more and more common that couples are moving in together but not necessarily with the intentions of getting married. If marriage happens it happens…it if doesn’t, well…no big deal.

Now, Mama might not approve of you moving in with your significant other before you take that walk down the aisle, but the United States Census Bureau estimates that at least half of all U.S couples live together before getting married. Statistics are also showing married couples who decided to live together before marriage are less likely to divorce.

Remember when the societal norm of having a girlfriend included making sure you had her in the house before it got too late? A good girl would always be in the house at a decent hour and a good guy always make sure of that. When you felt like the relationship was progressing you did the right thing and got married.

My, how times have changed! These days, moving in together is more like the gradual process of dating. Today, there are 5.5 million couples shacking up in the United States, according to a study done by the bureau in 2000. African Americans made up 17 percent of that total, the second highest in the nation behind American Indians.

Many couples are saying money and convenience are the reason for their living together. But whatever the reason, there are pros and cons to shacking up. Check them out below:

PROS

1. No Strings attached: If the relationship ends, you don’t have the hassle of going through a legal divorce.

2. Certainty: Maybe you never knew of your partners annoying habit of clipping her toenails and just wiping the mess on off the bed and onto the floor. Or maybe you never knew that he refuses to use anything else but a fork as his backscratcher and you just can’t deal. Well, living together lets you get to know this person inside and out, and helps you to decide if they’re really for you.

CONS

1.Who gets what? Breaking up means moving out. Now you have the issue of agreeing on who gets the pots and pans and the 52-inch flat screen TV. You can’t just flip a coin if you can’t seem to agree…or can you?

2.Ethics: All the old women at church shake their heads in disapproval when you walk by and Mama says you’re “living in sin.” You were raised to get married before you live with someone, but times have changed. You have to decide whether you’re comfortable with going against what your church or family believes.

Shacking up is something that is quickly becoming more and more accepted, no matter what Mama says. But, it just leaves you to wonder, with many couples having the “will you move in” conversation before the “will you spend the rest of your life with me” conversation, what becomes the incentive for marriage?

What are your thoughts on shackin’ up versus hopping the broom? In today’s society what are the real incentives for marriages? Speak on it…